Soundless

I love the feeling of getting a little bit gloomy on rainy days. I know it's a bit weird, but I admit I kinda like the combination of rain, music, sadness, and warm food or drink. The rain fell today, and I was drowned in my own thoughts about him. That particular guy. I still can hear it clearly, the sound of my guitar merged with the sound of the raindrops touching the roof, and that inexplicable feelings.

I wanna tell him how I feel. I wish I have the courage to speak up. It's not as easy as what Taylor Swift wrote in her songs, not as simple as what we used to see in hollywood movies. It's the reality, it's the fact, it's not a dream. There are so much to be afraid of. His friends, his words, his thoughts, his eyes, his brother, his... I don't know, everything! He might think I'm just an idiotic dreamer, or a rat trying to be a butterfly. Shame on me..

Can he just read my mind? Cause every time I try to speak to him, I can't hear my own voice. Every time our eyes meet, I can't help it but look away... Almost every night I imagine things I wanna say to him the next day and I ended up saying nothing to him.

I should have found the way to tell you how I felt  

Now the one I'm telling is myself

Source: LEIGHTON MEESTER - WORDS I COULDN'T SAY LYRICS

Blurry

Hannah Montana once said, "They say that good things take time, but really great things happen in a blink of an eye" in a song called One In a Million.

Talking about great things, they are so unpredictable, so inexplicable, and so... so unexpected! There's always an I-didn't-know-it-would-turn-out-like-this in every great things. It's like saying, "I never thought this stranger would become one of the most important person in my life now!"

The only thing I hate about great things is most of them end sooner or later. Great things happened so fast that we can barely feel it happening. They seemed so fast, so hard to remember, and in some cases, they became too sad to be remembered. And everything went blurry.

One Step Closer

Suramadu Bridge, Surabaya-Madura, Indonesia

You know, I feel like yesterday I was still a junior high student. But today, I attended my senior high school's education fair (edufair), looking for the right university to continue my study when I graduate senior high. Time flies by too fast, I suppose.

I remember when I was still at elementary school, my parents and my sister attended this edufair. It was so crowded and I didn't understand a thing about the universities' presentations. And now, I am attending this fair. Two years later I'll have to choose the right university and faculty, but now I still barely understand about those kinds of things. People asked me what I wanted to be in the future. When I was a kid, I answered that I wanted to be a pilot. When I was older I said I wanted to be a detective. After that I wanted to be an artist, a photographer, or a chef, even though I really am bad at cooking. And these days if people ask me that question, I answer, "I don't know yet." So now I'm officially wanting to be an i-don't-know-yet.

I always know I can be whatever I want to be. But I actually haven't find out what I want to be. I like drawing, taking pictures, writing, singing, filming, eating, sleeping, recording songs, painting, observing, talking, designing things and all. But that is what I like to do, not what I want to do. Of course people want to do what they like to do. But not all of them want to be what they would like to be. So even if I like drawing and I'm good at drawing, that doesn't mean I want to be an artist, right? For some people, this would sounds so weird, but for me it just makes sense.

You know why I put the picture about bridge above? It's because thinking about the future is like one step closer to the land across the sea. I know there is still a long long way to go, but  there is something big at the end of the bridge. Mega spirit everyone!

To Be Free

 If this monkey could talk, what would it say? Probably "I wanna get out from this cage! You, yeah you, the girl with the camera, please free me!!" But guessing from the look he gave me when I captured this photo, it was more like, "Help me..." More full of sadness and despair than anger and the spirit to be free.

I bet you guys sometimes feel the same way like this monkey feel (although I don't really know what did the monkey felt, but let's just assume that he was desperate to get out from that cage)

Wanted to be free, but locked in an invisible cage. Desperately wanted to go, but nobody volunteered to help you. Fortunately, we aren't monkeys. We have a voice. We have the right to be heard. We can ask people to help us, not just sit silently waiting to be saved by a prince climbing up the tower. So please, use your voice, speak louder.

Voices

I really miss the voice of the piano.... and rain. Still waiting for the rain to fall. Ahhh I'm dying to hear those relaxing voices!

Today's Miracle

Well, I think I should share this experience to all of you guys. I believe it's true that you can find a miracle in every single day of your life. Maybe it's just a tiny little miracle or maybe a big one. Maybe it's not just one, but I believe that there's always one per day. It's just up to you to decide is it a miracle or not. 

Today I met a friend from my junior high, we went to different schools so it's kinda hard to meet each other. Beside, we're not good friends so it doesn't really matter for both of us. But today, unexpectedly, we met in a public transportation. I want to call it a coincidence, but somehow I know it wasn't. I thought we wouldn't talk much, but actually he got so much to talk about and so did I. He's so much nicer than I remembered he was. He's happy with his new school, he's proud of it, and I'm glad to hear it. I didn't have a single thought that I would be so happy to meet him. To be honest, I was smiling all the way home. 

For some people, they maybe think that it's usual, ordinary, nothing special. But for me, every single thing of it is special. So I might say that today's big miracle is to meet him. I know that today's writing isn't related to the picture, but I just feel like writing it. 

All I can say is it was enchanting to meet you

 (Enchanted-Taylor Swift)

I'm hoping to meet you again someday, expectedly or unexpectedly. Maybe tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow. Maybe next week or next month. Next year or next decade. But I have to meet you.

Afternoon Moon

taken from my house :)

I know this is so sad, but I edited this picture. The moon looks so small so yes, I change the moon's size, sorry for letting you down coz I edited it. Well, maybe actually I'm letting myself down for doing it... But anyway, it was at sunset time (I don't even sure that it's still can be called "afternoon", is it still afternoon??), the sun was already coming down at one side of the sky, so it was pretty dark, but the other side, the sky was still bright blue, and you could see the moon there. It was kinda rare.

Anyway, I feel a little bit lonely tonight. I don't know why.

Maybe because today I only received one email :'(

Or maybe just because I'm tired...

I've been working on so many projects these two months, painting, recording a few songs, making comics, etc. And none of them is finished yet. AAAARGH!!! But at least I'm enjoying every single step on doing those projects

I'm now totally loving a Rachael Yamagata's song, Be Be Your Love. It's not the full lyrics but, just check it out

f I could take you away pretend I was queen  

What would you say? Would you think I'm unreal? 

'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel
 

And everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love 

 But I want, want, want to be your love 

Want to be your love, for real

Want to be your everything

 
Every thing's falling, and I am included in that  

Oh, how I'll try to be just okay? 

Yeah, but all I ever really wanted was a little piece of you

Please, sir, don't you walk away Don't you walk away, don't you walk away Please, sir, don't you walk away Don't you walk away, don't you walk away
 

Got it from MetroLyrics

 

Under The Spotlights

I'm so out of idea what should I write today....

Have you ever been under the spotlight?
Being watched by everybody but you can't see them?
Having all the attention on you

I thought it would be so scary and all, but when I stood on my first stage for my first performance, I feel fearless. I didn't know the audience and I couldn't see them clearly, so I was fine.

Everybody needs time to shine. And when you finally get the chance to shine, why not? Don't be shy, don't be afraid. They won't judge you so easily.

 

The Sweetness of Doing Nothing

Taken at Monumen Nasional, Jakarta

We all know we live in such a complicated world. We went through some hard times and laugh about it after that. We did something embarrassing then we try to forget it like we want to forget about bad dreams. Fear, sadness, anger, confusion, disturbance, slightness, they make us forget who we are. We may cry, we may laugh, we may do anything we want to do, but sometimes it doesn't change a thing.

Living life is just like walking down an endless road. 

If you want to go faster, then run. See what you've missed.

If you're tired, then just walk again. Take your time.

If you're exhausted, then stop. Look back and see how far you've walked. 

 Or just... do nothing

"dolce far niente"

 the sweetness of doing nothing

(Eat, Pray, Love)

Got it from here

The World Is Not So Small

Taken from Bandung Aston Primera's window

Actually, the world isn't small at all. I feel really small right now. But so glad that I'm a part of this world. There's not much to tell today, but I have 2 questions, what have the world done for you, and what have you done for the world? Not very simple...

 The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

(Albert Einstein)

 got it from here

The Sky's Always There

 

Every morning on my way to school, the sky is there

Every afternoon in class, when teachers get so boring, the sky is there

Every sunset, when I watch the tv, the sky is there

and every night, on my sleep, the sky is there

So yes, the sky has been accompanying me for my whole life. But especially these past three years in junior high school. Through the sunny days, the rainy days, cold days, hot days, cloudy days.... It's always there, above me. Although sometimes I forgot about its existence. Weird but true.

On my freshman year, I had a hard time on adapting with my classmates, teachers, lessons, scores, and all. I even got scared to go to school. One day, I looked up to the sky from the car's window and it was so calm, it made me less worried about the rest of the day. And from that day I promised myself every morning I'd see the sky and told myself, "everything's going to be just fine." Well, sometimes it didn't help me but sometimes it did.

Then on my 2nd year, I started to forget about the sky thing and the everything-will-be-okay thing. But still, the sky is there....

Early on June, I photographed this picture, the sky from my school's window. Just another hot blue sky and white soft cloud. It was the school's farewell party, my 3rd year on junior high. The sky is there, on my last days on school....

And I just realize all of that

Freezing Time

Parebut Se'eng: Sundanese martial art, one of the boy has to fight for the se'eng (the thing on the boy's back)

It's so cool how the blurry picture makes the boys look like they're moving fast (well, they are moving fast-but that's not the point). This post's title actually doesn't fit with the photo. I took it with low shutter speed, so it's not really freezing time.... It's more like freezing the action, stopping the movement, or maybe capturing the moment. Yes, capturing the moment.


We all know that we can't go back to the past, but we can always look back. Through photos, stories, books, videos, memories, I don't know. But I want to pick the first way, through photos. A photo is worth a million words! (FYI, I didn't randomly picked up a sentence for my blog's title).


Well anyway I've been thinking maybe this photo is a part of world history. Maybe it's a really really small part of it, but no matter how small it is, it's still a part of it, right? Because a big thing comes from little things (I just made that up)

 I'm so random today :D

Through The Window

taken on a traditional market in Blora, Central Java

I have nothing to say, so I searched through the internet a quotation about window, and this is what I found:

Art is the window to man's soul. Without it, he would never be able to see beyond his immediate world; nor could the world see the man within. 

 -Claudia Johnson-

(I found it here)

Anyway, I can peek through a window or a keyhole and found something fun outside, but you know, the best time is when I peek through my viewfinder. I found a whole new world out there.

I can press the send button on my phone or press the delete button on my computer and regret it, but I know, I don't regret pressing my very first camera's shutter button.

I'm so loving photographhy

A Bridge to Somewhere

taken on Sukabumi

When I see this picture, I feel kinda empty, don't know why. But suddenly when I saw the end of the bridge, I thought about this:

If there's a way, 

It must be "a way to somewhere"

Not "a way to nowhere"

So just stay in line

If there's a bridge

There has to be something to cross on

 There has to be something across it

Just don't fall on your way

Then I thought again, "man yeah it feels so right to say that!"

A Beam of Light

taken on Vihara Dhanagun, Bogor

I just remembered a few part of Chrisye's song,  Lilin-Lilin Kecil:

"Dan kau lilin-lilin kecil
Sanggupkah kau mengganti
Sanggupkah kau memberi
Seberkas cahaya

Dan kau lilin-lilin kecil
Sanggupkah kau berpijar
Sanggupkah kau menyengat
Seisi dunia"